me out – I know it sounds retarded, because you can’t touch truth. In
my life, my feelings of intuition, inspiration, and revelation have
all been blessedly revealed to me through the power of the Holy Ghost.
This undeniable feeling that touches every nerve in my being is a
physical exchange. I’m not touching it with my hands, but it’stouching nonetheless.
The tricky and challenging thing about truth is that we all have the
innate ability to conceal its touch. I’m guilty of this; I have
ignored the touch of my truth for so many years that its feeling, once
strong in giving me direction, gradually transformed into a
gut-wrenching detour of denial and a constant urging of discontent.
Worse, I knowingly disregarded these feelings with every wrong path I
took. The dishonor that plagued me as a result was unknowingly
weakening my soul.
I faced my truth only because God wouldn’t let me avoid it any longer.
Something changed in me that allowed me to know that my weakest, most
debilitating emotion was fear. This intense, crippling sensation that
paralyzes me in all things I do (and have wanted to do) was shockingly
revoked by God. It’s like the movie storyline where a wheelchair-bound
person regains their ability to walk. That healed person was me, where
my paralyzing fears that trapped me in my unhappy life were lifted so
that I could move forward in the life I should be living.
I am forever changed by this healing. I haven’t yet worked out why
Heavenly Father blessed me by uncharacteristically relieving my fear
and so clearly revealing my path to true happiness. I do feel it has
everything to do with timing. He saved me in such a personalized way,
that my fear wasn‘t in the forefront where it has resided my whole
life. My fear was tangibly gone, and the things that I thought
mattered most didn‘t really matter at all. All I feel is reassuring
direction, safety, and breath-giving love. He knows me better than I
know myself. It’s kind of embarrassing that I would have stayed in
this unhappy life with an unhappy marriage forever because I was
afraid of the long list of what-ifs, and I was afraid of the negative,
unauthorized judgment from people who are supposed to love me
unconditionally.
I was thinking about my 15-year marriage, using my newfound
perspective. I was looking back at each year and at the ways I always
lied to my truth. It made me remember a poem I wrote when I was about
20. It’s really bad, but if I would have only practiced what I
preached in the poem, I wouldn’t feel like such a loser now.
Am I someone?
Do I have a subconscious talent that could change the world or bring
peace to some?
Ordinary is good, so many choose not to be.
Say the good and bad out loud
Truth is naked and will set you free.
Free from fear of truth.
I knew I was denying my truth then because I feared it. I knew I had
chosen the wrong paths I felt guilty for it, and wanted nothing more
than to prove my truth wrong. I even described the torturously hot
layers of suppressing fabric I piled over my truth to avoid the pain,
and how freeing it would feel to peel my coverings down to true
nakedness. All of my fear and pain is gone. I feel hope and optimistic
certainty of my blessing-filled future. The lessons and blessings that
have been gifted to me by God have saved me in almost every way you
can save a person. Heavenly Father wanted me on the right path; He has
looked out for me and comforted me through this intense process. If we
all lived our lives by our truth-tugging direction, life would be so
much happier. Live by your truth it will never lie to you.
~ Jane
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