Now you, our humble Victorian audience, have spent some time learning our complaints from the past. Surely, our battered hearts will redirect some further, future conversation back to these ugly topics. But for now, let’s accentuate the positive. Jane and I are a foreordained relationship. We have felt so, but little evidences have popped up as we started to unravel our old lives and re-ravel them back together. I was looking through some old writings over the last few weeks as I was taking inventory of what I should take with me out of my old life and into my new. From possibly my only dream journal ever, recorded by Quill way back in the last century, within 9 months of marrying my ex:
“I usually don’t have concrete dreams. They are often just a bunch of jumbled thoughts reflecting images seen over the previous few days, sometimes in a horrible movie form, like a David Lynch movie that I will never understand. However, the night before last I had a dream that was obviously some sort of message, for I actually remembered it 15 minutes after waking up (usually I forget dreams within minutes of arising from slumber).
I was driving in our carriage, down an ocean-side road I had never seen. Somehow I knew there was a big storm coming. At any rate, a little water started to run over the road, but I kept driving; in fact, I think I sped up. I knew it was going to get worse, and about 100 yards up, I saw the road get completely washed away. I turned around and started driving away from the destruction, but once again the road was engulfed in a maelstrom of crashing waves and churning seas. I was now stuck – all the time I was at peace, knowing I was protected. I rolled up the carriage windows, just in case I also was engulfed by waves. I was hoping I would be rescued, but right then the carriage, with me in it and the horses attached, was washed out to sea, and the carriage sunk to the bottom. I was not worried, just thought I should do what I saw on those Discovery channel shows and hold my breath, push open the door and swim to the surface.
At this point I realized I was dreaming and did not want to hold my breath because I was worried I would hold it so long I would die, and it wouldn’t be good if (my ex) found me dead when she woke. That thought was just silly – I did wake up shortly, and asked the best dream interpreter I knew about the dream later. He said it probably was a warning to know when to get out of trouble when the situation gets out of hand, to not let myself get into anything that could destroy me. He also said that the feeling of peace I had throughout the dream is an indication that I am protected in whatsoever I do. That part was nice. This dream was the first dream I can ever remember that was so concrete.”
So let’s interpret this dream properly now. An actual dream foretelling the future? The family carriage was going to sink to the bottom of the sea and I would be protected. I would have absolute comfort that everything would be fine. And how did that happen? Why, my Jane, of course!
With 5 years’ inability to figure out why happiness was escaping me, the words to an Angels & Airwaves (some popular minstrels of our day) song come to mind:
“I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad Your smile is gone; I've noticed it bad The cure is if you let in just a little more love I promise you this, a little's enough”
And that’s what my Jane did. She started a trickle of love flowing to my heart, which was like a stone. But when a trickle of water gets into the cracks of a stone, no matter how large or strong, it can crack the rock in two in a good freeze. She cracked the stones of my heart in twain, and the trickle quickly became a fire hose of love.
That’s how much my Jane loves me.
@))>---- Bingley ----<((@
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